Good ol' 'merican ingenuity || Thurs., May 29, 2008

In a project worthy of Sam...

Okay, so, I drive a Subaru Legacy (think pre-Outback station wagon circa 1994)... one of the cool things about it is that it is wider at the wheel base than at the top by quite a bit so as to help with stability. The problem is, the top of my car is more narrow than the widest part of my canoe. And, for the summer, there are going to be times when I will want to put the canoe and both kayaks on top of the car... BUT, I don't want to spend $500+ on a fancy roof rack (Jodie gives me grief for constantly having roof rack envy and checking out other people's "racks")... So... I'm currently halfway through mounting a newer, wider rack... made out of 2x4s and parachute cord a la some fancy Boy Scout lashings.

Pilgrimage to Mecca || Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Alright, so, this spring I applied for a program through the Toyota International Teachers Program that would basically be a two week trip to the Galapagos Islands from November 22-December 6. While I haven't gotten it, I did get an email today saying that out of over 900 applicants I've made it to the last round!

Now, for the full import of this to sink in, first remember that the closest I've been to "out of country" was either Iowa or New Mexico. Second, consider the surroundings... these are THE Galapagos Islands, one of the most biologically diverse areas on the ENTIRE planet. Thirdly, this is the land of Darwin. This trip would be the equivalent of a Chaucerian trip to Canterbury, a pilgrimage to Mecca, vacation to Graceland... this is where Darwin's raw data on finch evolution comes from... I could see the offspring of the finches that inspired one of the most groundbreaking scientific principles of our time... you get the picture...

So, my request of you--please pray to your deity of choice on my behalf!

I should know something by the end of July... cross fingers, please. If they cramp between now and then, cross toes and then switch back to fingers.

Canoe Trip... Takers? || Monday, May 26, 2008

Okay... So I have taken on a mission this summer of trying to get more people outside more often. The first installment is a canoe trip/hiking/fishing trip I'm planning for next weekend. I've sent out mass mails, talked to people, passed the word on. In case I missed anyone who wanted to go, here is the itinerary. Also, if you want me to add you to my email list of outdoor activities, send me a message with your email address and I'll add you to my listserv.

May 31-June 1 (the last Saturday-Sunday before school gets out)

canoe from fontana marina to campsite 86 at the headwaters of Hazel Creek and the starting point of Hazel Creek trail. haul the canoes/kayaks up to the campsite (not far), set up camp, load up pack with lunch and water, and hit the trail. I'm envisioning hiking the hazel creek trail to the junction with cold spring gap, hiking back and taking a detour to the bone valley trail, coming back to hazel creek and back to 86 to spend the night. Get up, eat breakfast, and paddle back. If you want, you can paddle in and, instead of the 17 mile hike, hang around camp and explore the historical sites in the area, fish, swim, lay in a hammock, whatever.

Total mileage:

Day 1: Leave town around 6:30-8ish, 5 mile paddle in, set up camp, hike 8.5 miles uphill, hike 8.5 miles downhill, camp

Day 2: 5 mile paddle out. Back to town by 1-4ish.

The campsite is right on the lake, and there is a historical cabin (the calhoun house/hazel creek hilton) with running well water on the other side of the river. Neat house, basement, main level, and attic. For some details and pics of the area we're going to, go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hazel_Creek_(Great_Smoky_Mountains)

Supplies to bring: If enough people go, I'll plan a group menu and bring group cooking equipment. If not, it will be individual or buddy system food. Shelter will probably be a tent or two (depending on number & gender of people going) or a tarp. I have enough tents and tarps to outfit a small 3rd world country, so if you want to go but don't have a tent, don't let that hold you back. Sleeping bag or blanket. Personal grooming. Water bottle. I'll send out a more detailed list of suggested supplies once I know how many are going.



Currently, there are 5 people going (myself and 4 others). We have 4 kayaks and 2 canoes, so there's room for at least 5 more people. I can probably lay my hands on up to 6 more canoes if necessary.

1st Swim Lesson || Monday, May 26, 2008

Ah, Bailey's first swimming lesson. Let me preface this by saying that swimming is not something that Jodie or I am particularly inclined to teach. You want to learn how to factor equations? Go to Jodie. Want to learn how to analyze multilinear narratives? Come see me. Want to learn how to swim? Go to Parks and Rec. Our previous instructions for Bailey in the realm of water safety: Stay in the canoe. Don't drown. If you fall in the water, yell and blow your whistle.

Taking that into consideration, Bailey did an EXCELLENT job tonight. She was going underwater, treading water, kicking, faux floating, everything that was asked of everyone in her age group.

Have I mentioned lately how much I love Parks and Rec?

Memorial day stereotype || Mon., May 26, 2008

Soooo... of all 365.25 days a year, what day is the most common boating day? What? Memorial Day? How could I have forgotten. Why would I pick this day to be the day to take Bailey out on a lake (i.e., flat water) in the kayak (vs. tons of motorboats) for the first time? Because she wanted to :)

It neared catastrophe as Bailey freaked out in the first few minutes, but we tied her yak to mine and started out. Within a few yards, she was already begging for more motorboats to make more and bigger waves. We went from the swimming area at Fort Loudon State Park (where the big actual (replica) fort is) around the peninsula to the fort and back. Good times, especially when we came back and Myers had a turn as my co-pilot.

Exact quote from Myers when we first turned toward open water: "whoa. cool."

Our Monarch Butterfly || Monday, May 26, 2008

Last weekend, when we went to the Market Square Farmers' Market, we got a monarch caterpillar chrysalis. She took very good care of it all week, making sure it was misted so it wouldn't dry out and frequently checking on it to see what phase it was in. Finally, yesterday, the butterfly emerged. We gave it a banana and some kool aid and watched it for a day or so, and today we let it go to be Mexico bound. Far be it from us to mess with the migratory habits of butterflies. Anyway, very cool experience, especially the last few days when you can see the pattern on the butterflies wings through the chrysalis.

Geocaching || Thursday, May 22, 2008

So, who knew there are like a hundred geocaches along the Greenway between Southland (Everyone's Favorite Used Bookstore... cha ching) and Midland? Three hours, a picnic supper, threat of poison ivy, and the trade of a Disney pen for a squishy ball, all while traipsing around outside while a 7 year old navigates with a GPS? ... WAAAAY better than watching tv :)

Last Day of 1st Grade || Wednesday, May 21, 2008

So, first grade was awesome. Emily--your mom is the best teacher ever (she would make an excellent grandmother :) ... no, she didn't pay us to say that, but let me just say Bailey had straight As). Both Bailey and Myers loved 1st grade. We're just worried about second grade, now. And after second grade, MIDDLE SCHOOL... and having to move to the city... but for now, it's summer.

Yak || Sunday, May 18, 2008

So, today had a pretty crappy start. We paid off my car last week, so on the way to church this morning my car went all fubar. Within a mile of leaving home, we had to turn around and come back. We were really frustrated with my car, feeling like we couldn't get ahead, that every time things were going great (see yesterday's blog), something else would happen to bring us back down. So, we got back home, did a quick car change, and headed off to church. We were a few minutes late, but glad we showed. The message was on how to deal with life when you're discouraged or discontent or overwhelmed and feel like you can't get ahead because every time things are going great something else happens to bring you back down. Uncanny timing. ("I, like God, do not believe in coincidence." -- V for Vendetta).

At church, we also saw Sam, and saw that Sam had his brand spankin' new kayak lashed to the top of his car. Needless to say, long story short--a long story involving a case study in Murphy's Law... as my mother's van, which I was going to borrow since my car was out of commission, wouldn't start... -- we were on the water a few hours later. Basically, it was just a flatwater paddle around Tellico Lake. If you go down 129, it's the first pull-off for a TWRA/TVA boat dock. It had been storming, but stopped raining as we were putting the boats in. Windy, but very nice. Extremely peaceful without the motor boats zooming past. Good times. We also came up with an idea for a future charity event... Not sure which charity, but hey... details details details... Across the lake (which used to be a river), there used to be a bridge, but the bridge is gone. Only the supports/footers/columns/whatever remain. In the vein of Tour de Cure, Relay for Life, etc., we're thinking about holding a slalom canoe/kayak event. Since my wife is the coordinator for a Teen Mothers support group (www.youngmothers.org), I'm thinking maybe Paddling for Pampers? It's hard to come up with an alliterative and memorable name for a watersports event for teen mothers. Anyway, it'll probably never happen, but it'd be fun.

Get Outside || Saturday, May 17, 2008

We planned to take a trip to Chattanooga this weekend to bebop around a nice, pedestrian-friendly downtown while taking in the waterfront, the aquarium, the discovery museum, etc. But, as gas surges higher and higher, we decided to ex-nay the plans and stay local. I was bummed out about the change in plans, but Jodie, through her cunning research skills, found out about the Get Outdoors Festival. In short, it was a festival for local outdoor activities and vendors and demonstations held at the World's Fair Park. We forgot the camera, so we don't have photographic evidence, but here is the short list of what Bailey got to do--a free tennis lesson, disc golf, geocaching (a new family favorite), kayaking in the reflecting pool behind the World's Fair Amphitheater, and several other booths. We also went up in the sunsphere for an eagle-eye view. After the fair, we walked to Market Square for the Farmer's Market, where there was a couple with a butterfly breed and release program selling monarch butterfly chryssalis's and butterfly attractant stuff to put in the garden (so, of course, we now have a soon-to-be monarch butterfly in the kitchen). From there, Tomato Head was packed, so we went to Subway, where we were fortunate enough to be served by the most self-loathing Subway employee I've ever met. We then walked to the Mast General Store to visit the candy barrels. From there, it was a nice walk back to the car. On the way back through Market Square, Farmer's Market was closing up and there was a guy selling tomato plants and rosemary out of the back of his car. Now, considering my history, I found it ironic that this time it was Jodie purchasing herbs out of the back of a shady stranger's car in a downtown back alley. The trip back to the car was largely uneventful except for Bailey blowing on a whistle pop. Do you remember those things? Well, 33 cents at Mast. What a deal. Anyway, as she was blowing on it, Jodie taught her how to use the slide whistle function, and Myers decided to be her vocal accompaniment. This only slowed us down because we had to wait for me to bash my head into a brick wall every few blocks :)



On the way home, we stopped at the 3 Rivers Food Coop on Broadway, which was great--except for the fact that the smell of sandalwood and pachouli makes me want to scratch my eyes out. Definite shopping spot for future backpacking trips. Dehydrated foods in self-serving hoppers. Beautiful.

Both Bailey and Myers fell asleep on the way home, Bailey with a whistle pop still in her mouth, and a line of blue-ish drool extending from the pop to her shirt. How cute--

Once home, Bailey planted her Garden--cant elope, broccoli, spinach, peas, heirloom green beans, carrots, tomatoes, and another veggie I can't remember right off. Then... dun dun dun... the long awaited.... the oft alluded to... the frequently and fondly spoken of...

Dia de llavandiendo las Botas. (okay... it's been a decade since I took Spanish... leave me alone).

Me. Two Children. Pressure Washer. Water hose. 2 kayaks. 1 canoe. A shitload of craziness. Random tidbit: if a two year old accidently points a water hose with a mist/jet attachment at their own face while pulling the trigger, they are so shocked by the outcome that they are totally unable to release the trigger, thus further serving to soak themselves fully. I got really frustrated with the pressure washer because it kept zonking out, but aside from that, the boats are clean and ready for the season (btw--let me know if you want to go kayaking or canoeing this summer...).

After coming inside to warm up (Myers's feet and legs were purple), we had a quick supper and then went to drive around and gawk at our dream houses in the Maryville City Schools district. We're partial to one that's about 15 feet away from the Greenbelt and 100 yards from Sandy Springs and 125 yards from the Recycling Convenience Center. Ah, sweet pipe dreams (btw, if you own a house the matches the previous description, and you want to give it to us, we'll take it. gladly).

1st Grade Field Trip || Monday, May 12, 2008

Today I chaperoned a field trip for Bailey to Cades Cove. Her class was doing one of the Parks as Classrooms programs put on by the Park Service (free of charge) in the CC picnic area. The program focused on major animal groups (mammals, reptiles, amphibians, fish, birds, and invertibrates), as well as requirements for a habitat (food, water, shelter, space, a habitat is a wonderful place--cha cha cha). After the program wound up around 12:30, we decided to go around the loop road. In my many hundreds of trips around the loop road, this was probably one of the best ones. We started with the basic plan of pulling over wherever she wanted to pull over (hence the pictures of horses from the first 25 feet of the loop road... boy did I feel like a tourist pulling over at THE very first pull off... still within view of the entering Cades Cove sign... but hey). Next, we pulled off at the John Oliver cabin trail... It's 1/4 mile to the cabin, and I expected a straight walk there, look around, walk back. Bailey is normally not very adventurous. Well, we walk up there, walk around the cabin, and then she sees some little unmarked side trail and starts pulling me along. Long story short, we spend the next 45 minutes traipsing around the woods searching for cicada molts (we eventually saw 119), cicade holes, trees (she can now ID tulip poplars--her favorite kind of tree... damn, how much do I love that my daughter has a favorite kind of tree at 7 years old??, maples, oaks, magnolias, sycamores, and hemlocks), evidence of boar rooting, turning over rocks for salamanders and bugs, rock hopping in a dried up stream bed, practicing the scientific method, and playing "survival quiz." It was also a spring board for a conversation about the hemlock woolly adelgid and similarities between American and Chinese climates. Yup, I think we went a little over the 1st grade curriculum. Long story short, she's now trying to think of ways to raise money for hemlock saving efforts in the park. Up to 70% of trees in the entire park are hemlocks, and if we continue at the current rate, they will all be dead before Bailey can buy beer, thanks to an exotic species of insect that is just super tiny. Needless to say, I am very proud of her immediate sense of social outrage: "What can we DO about it?" was her very first response, which made me kind of embarrassed that we hadn't done anything about it. Like all environmental movements with the catchphrase "it's a tough job, but we can do it," the adelgids are totally eradicatable (is that a word? I don't know). There is a chemical treatment that can be sprayed at the base of the tree that will be sucked up by the roots and enter the sap and kill the bugs and let the tree live (I've heard the chemical is the flea and tick repellent you put on your dog's back between the shoulder blades... I don't know if this is accurate). This is a good treatment, but due to the number of trees spread over 500,000 acres, it's very impractical. There is also a natural predator of the adelgid from China that feeds exclusively on the adelgids. For all of the Jurassic Park, "Life will find a way" nay-sayers, the cool thing about this predator beetle eats only the adelgid, and if it runs out of the adelgid, it eats other members of its own species. So it wipes out the adelgid and then takes care of itself. The only problem... about $2 per beetle. The NPS is raising money for these options through the sell of bumper stickers and t-shirts, but at the current rate, you may want to start taking lots of pictures of hemlocks. Even the hemlock in our yard is covered with adelgids. Little buggers.

Anyway, I digress. Next, we continued on the loop, stopping at the Methodist Church and one of the Baptist churches. At the Methodist Church, Bailey asked why there were two doors at the front of the church. Response: "One for boys, one for girls. Back then, boys weren't allowed to look at girls' ankles, so they had separate entrances because when girls stepped up their ankles would show under their dress." Bailey response--That's silly. Her act of civil disobedience: refusing to go into the church :) . From there, we walked around the cemetery. My family has a strong background in Myers's and Sparks's, hence William Myers Lombardo, and there are plenty of each in this cemetery. Even though the tombstones are old, it is kind of weird to see a tombstone with the name William Myers on it. I'm not quite brave enough to broach the subject of infant mortality with her, so thankfully she didn't really notice the predominance of infant graves. Nor did we go into much detail regarding the grave of our relative Tom Sparks who was shot and killed at the herders cabin at Spence Field by a mentally retarded (which I mean literally, not in the 7th grade "you're retarded" kind of way) man who was told Tom had a stash of money hidden at the cabin.

At the Baptist church, we practiced scientific method and came up with these hypotheses: 1: Cicadas like the shade; 2: Cicada larvae live in trees; 3: Cicada's exit their molted skin through the thorax. We're not sure how accurate these are... we're going to save them for middle school science projects.

After the Baptist church, we exited the cove via the Rich Mtn Road... winding 11 miles from the Cove to Townsend. Good times, good views, water play, a quick lesson on how to, um, urinate in the woods (FYI: 10 feet off trail, 100 ft from water source, preferably away from trees and vegetation--animals like to lick pee and it can damage trees and veg if too many animals lick it too often... who'd've thought? SO, if you ever see a trail sign with large segments of paint worn off or gnawed away, yup, someone peed on the sign).

All in all, we had a great day.

Daughter of an English Major || Sun., May 04, 2008

Jodie was feeling ill this morning, so Bailey, Myers, and I took off to the Foothills Parkway Open House. As a brief history lesson, this is the 9 mile section of Foothills Parkway that was begun ages ago and hasn't been completed. The section is normally closed to cars, but is open to walkers and bicyclists. The last time it was open to cars was one weekend in 1998. So, it's kind of a big deal. Basically, the road is like the finished sections of the Foothills Parkway in that it has a fair amount of solitude and some excellent vistas with lots of pull-offs. It is unlike the rest of the parkway in that it isn't fully paved, there are no lines on the road, and there are no guardrails (kind of nerve racking at times...). SO.. we pulled off around mile 3 to let Myers walk some at one of the pull offs with a particularly breathtaking vista of the mountains with fog transpiring a la "smoky" mountain style, and Bailey's response was: "It's beautiful, like a picture painted long ago by a great artist." This is the same girl who, upon looking into a campfire last year said it was "glowing like an orange monster."

The way I see it, if Bailey received my dominant genes for Language and Jodie's dominant genes for Math, Mendel would have to agree that Jodie and I will be living off her Nobel Prize money or McArthur Fellowship for our retirement. If not, we'll have to live off Myers's lawsuit settlement from an equipment failure that would occur while jumping off of or out of something. All I know is teaching sure as hell isn't going to cover retirement.

--this is where pictures of our trip would go if we'd brought a camera bag that actually had a camera in it instead of just a spare set of batteries and a memory card --